How Cancer Saved My Life.... And Now How It Saves Yours Too
It was the fall of 1988 and it was just another busy day of household responsibilities like any other for a wife and mother of four. As 3:00 pm approached, it was time for me to enjoy a break with my favorite talk show. This day's guest would be the host herself; Ms. Oprah Winfrey. As the show aired it would be this day that Oprah would bare her soul on national TV, as she shared the personal story of a lifetime battle with weight.
Oprah's story included toxic people who cared little about the impact of thoughtless words to a young girls self-esteem and the damages that last a lifetime. As she related her story and the audience felt her pain, Oprah's story intertwined with her career as she shared pictures of a yo-yo dieting struggles to fit the mold. Feelings of rejection and toxic people took their toll.
And as we each related with our own stories and her candid honesty, suddenly Oprah jumped up and in front of millions, threw off the over coat she was wearing and shock ed a nation. There stood to the shock of a national audience, instead of a full-figured woman we loved, stood a jubilant Miss Oprah who was a fraction of her former self. And the studio audience burst into jubilation and Oprah's TV career skyrocketed.
It was a moment in Oprah's TV history that could only be outdone by what came next.
Now the very svelte, petite Oprah stunned everyone when she went off stage and came back pulling a little red wagon that represented the 67 pounds of fat she just shed in a few months.
And again the audience went wild.
As the woman women relate to, Oprah's media impact is still felt 30 years later. Like Oprah and millions of people, I too struggle with weight. With a predisposition to be 'fluffy' and a lifetime of yo-yo dieting, seeing Oprah's victory felt like a candle of hope for all of us whose story ends with more gain than loss.
Having just had my 3rd baby a year before, and 20 months after having my secon, this time the weight wasn't coming off as easily as it did before, I wanted to drop 40 lbs. and be back to my pre-third baby weight. Thanks to the media that creates a distorted body image, wothat is fueled by words spoken by unkin, thoughtless and even cruel people, 40 lbs. feels like 400 pounds.
Like women everywhere that day, I too wanted Oprah's success. When she shared the 'secret' to her massive weight-loss, a Dr. prescribed product called 'Optifast', Oprah set the sales on fire like all things Oprah. Only prescribed after a complete physical, I'm sure Dr.'s offices throughout the U.S. were flooded with people ready for their own body transformation.
By show's end, I was on the phone making an appointment with my Dr. to be beach body ready for the next summer. But when the test results came in, thinking I was on my way to reach my goal, was not how the story went.
The Red Flag
The first red flag came when the phone rang during dinner one evening and it was my Dr.'s office. The nurse said my results were back and the Dr. needed to speak to me himself. When he came to the phone he struggled with the news and then he said 'I don't know how to tell you, but the test's weren't as we expected. Your white blood cells are abnormally high." How high I asked. He said, " a normal cell count is 300-400, and yours is over 10,000. I don't know how to tell you this but you have MS." Calmly I asked, "and what's the cure?" His response, "None I'm sorry, it's incurable but we want you to come back in to run more tests."
At this moment suddenly all the clumsy things I had done over the years came rushing over me like a tsunami of emotion. I nearly dropped the phone as all the embarrassing moments we share among friends, was no longer funny it was now just devastation.
When I went to the next Dr. the blood work made the news of the first seem like the good news. Now my whole life was shattered into pieces when I was diagnosed terminal with liver cancer.
At 25-years old, with three beautiful little girls and a son by marriage about to graduate high school, this is a day no one see's and it truly is the unthinkable. With the devastating news I asked my Dr. with a lump in my throat holding back the tears, "What are my chances?" The response; “None…I'm sorry, your cancer is too advanced for chemo and radiation. I think it best you go home and get your affairs in order, I'm so sorry, I wished there was more we could do but it's too late.”
Words that chilled me to the bone
I can't imaging what being the bearer of bad news must be like, I can only imgine it to be one of the hardest parts of being a Dr. As my brain tried to process all that was happening, it is as if suddenly my life felt out of control and I had no way to stop what was soon to happen. I can best describe it as the feeling experienced when you loose control of your car. In the split seconds that follow it seems as if time slows down to an unbearable speed as the adrenaline is off the chart and you try to prepare for a crash. Those split seconds seem like an eternity as your heart pounding out your chest and the fear grips you while you know there is nothing that is going to change what's about to happen.
That is what a cancer diagnosis felt like for me.
What terminal illness does to body is no secret. We've all seen the pictures and perhaps even experienced in person when someone we love is walking the long pathway to becoming a shell of their former self and unrecognizable in the end of this process.
What I didn't know and learned is it is this moment that death begins. It is the progrssion of events that happens when the mind switches from life to death and the overpowering emotions are like fierce ocean currents of emotions. Being told by an expert who you trust and are intimidated by that you have no hope or chance of survival, is actually how and when dying begins.
I was devastated and I saw stars, I felt faint and the rush of emotions caused my body to tingle. As the black spots were closing in on my vision and I thought I was going to faint, suddenly I entered a vortex where my will to live I could feel starting to slip away and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
Strong emotions sweep you along like flood waters where no matter how hard the effort, all you are is left powerless against the forces at work. But it doesn't stop there because these are the words break your spirit. It is said that the will to live is the strongest for we have. Strong enough that people in life and death situations have done heroic, even unimaginable things in a will to live.
Cancer........ the one word that changes everything
Powerful, emotional words can take us to new heights or swallow us to the lowest of depths......and it is in the depths that as a haunt, re-play like a broken record in the mind. With each re-play come the swells of emotions that swept me into overwhelming and overpowering grief and sadness. This is how the dying process starts and how with one word, cancer, how the will to live starts to die inside us.
Because what the mind believes the body achieves.....and the physical follows what the mind conceives. It was at this time I as a fearless young woman was gripped with gut-wrenching fear. I have never been so afraid.
Up to this day hands down, this was the worst day of my life. And while that is true of anyone who faces the monster of terminal illness, for me it speaks volumes about how catastophic this is emotionally as I had lived far from an easy life, which in time I would discover why before GMO's were introduces, that I had cancer at such a young age.
Today after decades of research and life experiences, I understand how the trauma I lived through as a child all through my young adult years actullay set me up for cancer at a young age.
Some call it the 'c' word,as if it's power is even in the letters because when diagnosed, the word 'cancer' has the power to bring even the mightiest of men to his knees. For me cancer took a strong-willed, determined woman, a survivor of many life trauma's; from abuse to neglect, from rape to domestic violence, molestation, and abandonment, all that pailed into nothing when compared to the certainty of a terminal diagnosis. I was overwhelmed with fear, confused, vulnerable and afraid like nothing else had ever done.
Like many people I too played the scenario out in my head the 'what would I do if ‘it’ happened to me?' The question we ask ourselves when cancer hits close to home. While the 'what if' is scarry in itsel
f to contemplate, what I learned is when it's your diagnosis, it's at this moment when you realize how fearful facing this demon is.
I compare seeing someone diagnosed with cancer to watching your favorite football team play and coiling at the pain players endure, to being on the field as the one the NFL players are crushing. When we play out in our mind the 'what would I do if it was me' when it get's scary we just turn it off when the picture becomes too difficult. But living a cancer diagnosis there is nothing to turn off.
When cancer is your reality, it's like waking up from a nightmare to realize your life is the nightmare. I was awash with devastation, depression, debilitation. But it wasn't a fear of death that was overpowering me, because I spent decades studing and teaching the Bible. And the simple truth found in the Bible is, death is simply sleep. There is no pain, no suffering, no knowledge, no conscientiousness in death.
And while death is a reality we all face, death for the young, who full of life see it as an abstract thought. It's the end of the story after living a long and happy life. Death is not what happy people see in the prime of life. That's what makes terminal disease so hard to accept.
Knowing I was dying, my emotions were overwhelming
I've seen the long grueling suffering of cancer and that reality made what was just ahead a haunting reality. A painful road where an agonizing end in death becomes the blessing that ends the pain and the torture for all involved.
While it has been said "'there are no atheists in the foxhole" a WWI expression coined as men fought and died in trenches. For me spirituality has been my life most of my life.
Having has a good spiritual routine before cancer was my salvation. Because while some people become more spiritually inclined when facing death, for me my spiritual routine never changed.
That was a real blessing for sure. But it was the deep love I felt for Jehovah God that before cancer was so real I dedicated my life to service him when I was 19, that when I faced cancer, the intensity of that dedication was put to the test by my circumstances.
While I know people blame God for tragedy, and that pain and fear makes a person think and act irrational, for me my faith was clear. God did not bring cancer upon me; it was as the Bible describes when it says, "time and unforeseen things happen". This was that unforeseen.
And while the Bible also makes clear this profound point, that "God does not try anyone". Cancer is not cause by a Father of love. Thus, day and night fervent prayers to Jehovah God is how I faced cancer.
With a river of tears I begged for wisdom and strength to know how to handle the situation. And like a light from heaven, my path began to be made clear. And in the twenty-seven years since, it has continued to be made clearer yet.
The answers were many 'light-bulb' moments
While I was overcome with sadness at losing my children, that sadness was dwarfed by feeling their pain.
As an abandoned child, I know first-hand the irreplaceable role parents play in the lives of their children. As a mother my grieving was for my children knowing the impact my absence would have on their whole life.
In my mind I could see each milestone they would reach, and the bitter-sweet feeling of always wishing their mother was there. Each school event, puberty, graduation, first-date, new love, break-up, marriage, baby, each and every time they would be reminded by the presence of other mothers, how their life was left incomplete.
And that's when the first epiphany hit me hard, my children needed me. This reality is one every parent who loves their child knows. The love a parent feels for their child is so much bigger than any love we have for our self.
As a mother we women know it’s the 'mama bear' in us, the overpowering feeling to protect our children to the death. While I cried for me, I sobbed for them. Who would fill my role? I was a step-child and I felt the true lack of natural between a mother and a child.
I also lived the pain of rejection through my entire life. And now I would not be there for my children, and the reality was crushing. Lost in emotion, suddenly with absolute clarity my thinking changed.
It's was the moment I realized my children needed me to fight for them and that is what I was now prepared to do. While I had no idea what that meant, just feeling determined to do so dried my tears as this empowering thought brought hope to my breaking heart.
And my tears subsided
What came next was clarity again as I thought what if there’s something the Dr. doesn’t know. Is that possible? If there is, I need to find it. I need to exhaust every option before I give it. I need to make sure if I die, my girls know I did everything I could for them. I want them to know how much their mom loved, and that I exhausted every option to be there for them.
It was the legacy I wanted to give them when my presence would be able to give them my love, it was the best gift I felt there was left.
What happened next came as another surprise.
With this thought in mind and clarity in focus, that's when I realized though more test were being ordered, what I needed now was not more bad news.
I could see how damaging to my psyche the news was and it was crippling me. Then came the possibility thinking I felt hope return to my heart and I felt renewed strength. It was incredible the power thinking has on the body and it was the first time I ever experienced such a mind-body connection association.
Just changing my thinking helped me to go from fearful and paralyzed with overwhelm, to mental clarity that allowed hope return to my heart.
Seeing the possibility, the 'what if' there are options my Dr. doesn't know about took me from powerless to empowered.
Much like a switch that flips, I felt strength return. I felt power to push aside the tears, fears, depression, devastation, and overwhelm, and get out of the bed I was trapped in for days.
Then came the strength to put a smile back on my face and then immense project of exhausting options. While I had no idea where to start, I just began to network with people I knew. Without the internet, finding answers was a much more difficult as it truly was a matter of not what you know but who you know and what they know. Very different than today.
My life changed
This path led me to a recommendation by a friend to a naturopath whose home office in Bentonville, Arkansas, was like a hidden gem.
The day I met with Sharon is the day I was introduced to understanding how the body works, and the energy it produces. At first it was the cause of great skepticism,
But no matter how I tried to prove her unconventional testing wrong, I found the non-invasive testing proved accurate. So accurate it detected the terminal cancer without Sharon knowing about the blood test results.
Seeing it written on her face, Sharon struggled to tell me the truth. I assured her I already knew and Sharon's relief washed over her. She stressed the fact that I didn't have long to live, I told Sharon I have been Dr. diagnosed.
Sharon asked a profound question, she said "Do you believe it"? My response, "That's why I'm here, because I don't want to believe it".
Sharon proved to be God-send as she became my voice of hope. Next I was offered hope through an aggressive protocol. Sharon warned me it would require 100% commitment and dedication to drastic life changes. She said it would be expensive. But she felt I had a chance because I was young.
But then she asked, "Do you have insurance?" I said, "Yes of course." She said, "Well your insurance won't pay for any of it."
Laying out the terms of the deal on the table I gladly accepted all she said as the best option I had been offered.
What I soon found was agreeing to all this would entail was much easier said than done. Anyone who has ever tried to just change their eating knows how hard it is to stick with it, but agreeing to change everything is overwhelming.
Changes included; weekly practitioner visits, an entire diet and lifestyle overhaul, and education for starters. Sharon recommended I read the 400 pg. "Yeast Connection". It was life-changing and overwhelming. But this book really opened my eyes so much that I had to read it three times in order to process all it said.
What I came to understand is, I was set up for cancer
How so? In many ways, from short-sighted medical treatments that included years of antibiotic prescriptions, to birth control pills combined with years of stress, a poor diet, and toxic people. This is the makings of cancer.
What I've read from the likes of Burton Goldberg, the "Father of Alternative Medicine" is cancer is 20 years in the making. Other sources say eight years. Regardless of the marker in the past when it happened, I could look back at my life and see how events became the catalyst to cancer.
When I was five is when I began to experience back pain. That was the first time I was taken to a medical Dr. who in the 60's, did nothing. But as a five year old looking back, I know it's when I realized I had no mother.
While I had a birth mother, it was then I knew I had no mother who loved me more than she loved herself. For a child to feel that rejection and abandoned is a heavy emotional burden. And back pain was the result.
At five I also remember being the first experience with kidney problems. Obviously there's a direct connection. At five I remember using the bathroom and instead of urine, it was all blood. A frightening sight to this day for an adult let alone a child, that was the first time I remember being on antibiotics.
Antibiotics don't treat emotional scars
What I have learned since about emotional scars has come from many sources. One powerful scientific resource is Dr. Masuri Emoto. His findings helped me understand the power of emotions in his discovery called 'Messages in Water".
As a scientist Dr. Emoto discovered with the power of an electron microscope, the impact words and behavior have on water. Proof of such is verified by findings when water is added to rice in an experiment as rice absorbs three times its weight in water.
Dr. Emoto found spoken words; music and emotions change the molecular composition of water. Powerful images frozen and preserved in water is the documented result when exposed to love, peace, happiness, joy.
However, shocking was the results when exposed to the converse, the molecular evidence is irrefutable when water is exposed to words and actions of hate, abuse, anger and resentment.
Even more shocking was the devastating effect on water molecules as demonstrated by rice, when ignored. In what is called 'the three rice experiment', beakers of cooked rice were exposed to different environments.
Love, hatred, and neglect
Thirty-days of constant exposure and the results were clear. The rice jar exposed to love nearly looked edible. The rice jar exposed to hatred and abuse was rancid and mold covered. And the rice jar ignored was putrefied and worse than the abuse jar.
That's when I realized the impact my childhood and why I had cancer at 25.
In life the way this played out is my mother abandoned me at 2. As an adult I've tried to understand, and I do in many ways. She herself had a bad childhood, and so the cycle continues when a person doesn't have the spiritual component in life to stem the selfishness, the selfishness and dysfunction continues generationally.
Life and experience has taught me about human nature, the way we justify and rationalize what is not right. And when we do selfishness pervades.
In 1965 my mother was a woman ahead of her time. I understand why as an adult, she felt trapped in Plattsmouth, NE. She traveled the world, and now she lived in a place she called 'Peyton Place'.
For those not familiar with this term, it’s the name of a very old soap opera where life in Peyton Place was all about the drama. In a small town, if you're not from there, you're never really accepted. My mother's life would be no different.
To make matter even worse, because of a tragic mistake she made as a teen mother, she would never live-down the reputation associated with her name. It was the death of my big brother, born 5 years before me who died as a result of her neglect and ignorance. He was a 13 month old baby whose tragic death rocked an entire community.
People who live and are from small towns know, everyone knows your business. And while they are friendly and homey, they can also be incredibly difficult when a story never is laid to rest.
Being raised in large cities like Washington D.C. and NYC, and living in boarding schools in Europe, my mother was ill prepared for life in a small town. In an act of desperation, Arlene was a pre-women’s movement liberator who ran off, leaving me with my cousin with a note, "please take care of my baby".
Leaving me, my dad and the life in Plattsmouth, NE my mom and her boyfriend fled to Washington D.C.
Drama and more drama
My father had his own issues. His father died when he was just five. The youngest of four children, my grandmother became an alcoholic and he was raised by his older sister.
Even though he had so much going against him, and as hard on me as it was to loose my mother, it was the love of my father who was my salvation, he was my rock.
A hard-working, average Joe my dad spoiled me with love. He was always patient and kind. He never spoke a harsh word or even raised his voice. He never laid a hand on me though I hear he needed to.
My father was my life. He was my mother, he was my father and I adored him for that. He made me feel safe and loved. To say I worshipped the ground my daddy walked on is an understatement. In my mind no one was more important than him.
I remember being in kindergarten and telling the class when we were asked what job our parent had in a kind of show and tell, that my daddy had the most important job in the whole world. He made sure people got food by keeping big trucks running.
As a single dad he worked nights and tried to keep up with the demands thrust upon him by my mother. Of interest when my parents got divorced, because it was the 60's, even though what my mother had done to both her children clearly defined her an unfit mother, she was awarded sole custody.
But because my dad was a good guy, my parents had an amicable divorce. They never spoke badly of each other. And because they never did I always thought they would reconcile. I believe my father was in love with my mother for years after she left, because there was never another woman in his life.
My dad drank to drown his pain. My aunt told me when my parents were married my dad would go on a month long drunk. It always happened around the anniversary of my brother’s birth in August, and his death in Sept. Being a month apart my dad would disappear and be lost in bottom of a bottle.
Having lost my best friend, my soul-mate, my lover and husband in 2010, I understood it all.
I understood my grandmother's pain, and I understood my father's pain. Death is a pain so great it makes waking up each day a load too great to bear. It is a pain so awful all you want to do is die. It is the pain so deep, a depression so powerful; it literally breaks the heart of the living.
Death causes a pain so horrific, people can actually die from the immense emotional trauma caused to the heart by the emotion when the fibers that hold the heart, tear.
This is a pain no human was made to bare. As explained in the Genesis account, we were made to live forever in paradise on Earth. That was the lesson in Garden. But instead of the purpose of humankind being reached, we live with the sad consequences of willful disobedience.
And while most dismiss the story in the Genesis account as a fable, it makes clear that freedom can only be granted when choice is present. It’s the only way true freedom is realized.
Anything less, and free will is no longer the foundation of the freedom. We know it as instinct or programs that run computers. While reliable, neither is free.
If we dismiss the Genesis account then we become baffled like the scientist who no matter the advances, cannot explain not explain nor understand death. Science knows the body has a DNA code to rejuvenate. And it does until it begins to die. Clear evidence is defined by how we heal.
This is why no matter what people say, death is not a part of the original purpose of life. It's not how we were made and that's why it's the hardest of all traumas’ to survive.
The truths I came to really understand
Without spirituality real truth found in the Bible, the pain of death can only be medicated by escape. And that's what people in pain try to do.
But in the process of trying to escape the internal pain, is the cause of thoughtless external pain they inflict on others, when selfishness pervades as depression takes over.
It is for this reason 75% of all marriages end in divorce when the death of a child happens. Because once the shock wears off comes the rest of the toxic emotions that follow. Anger, resentment, blame and a marriage of two hurting people can't survive.
For my parents, they were ill-prepared for the life and consequences thrust upon them. As an adult I get it. As a child it was pain no child was meant to endure.
Anyone who’s ever read the Dr. Seuss book, "Are you my mother?" can understand what a child abandoned by their mother goes through. And while abandonment of a father is equally as damaging later on, it is the abandonment by a mother that a small child should never have to endure as the damage is decades of repercussions.
Because my parents’ divorce was amicable, and my mother was eager to be easy on herself so she could be free of life's responsibilities. The terms made outside the court was I would always get to choose who I wanted to live with.
For me that was easy. It was always my father. While children don't always understand things, they are very perceptive much like animals. And because they are that is why I know I bonded with my father more than my mother. He made me feel safe and loved. She made me feel like an inconvenience.
I remember being on a plane with her when I was no more than 4, I would imagine it was because she was picking me up from my dad's in Nebraska. While I remember very little about the circumstances, I will never forget what happened on the plane.
Using the 'let's play a game' trick on me my mom said, "When the stewardess comes by and asks you who I am with you, tell her I'm your sister ok?" "Ok" I said.
When the stewardess came by and said, "Awww what a cute little girl, how old are you? I said four. When she asked, "And who is this flying with you? I said, "That's my mommy." She said. "Your mommy, wow she's a pretty mommy."
Of course when the stewardess left, my mom was very upset with me because I didn't 'play the game' I was expected to play. But it was this and many episodes where her actions spoke volumes as to how unimportant I really was to her.
That only made me want my daddy that much more, and my life in that small town in Nebraska. It was the place I called home. It was the place where I could have a dog, and play outside at night with the neighborhood kids.
It was the place where I had a childhood
Nebraska was the place where I had a big extended family of cousins and friends who did things together like camping and fishing trips. It was the place where I had a home, a yard, a school where people knew my name and my family. It was the place where I had fun, it was the place every child needs and wants. It was for me my Mayberry RFD.
While I was always happy to be by my daddy's side but with no momma in the picture, every time we were around big families, I was the kid sweet mothers wanted to adopt.
As a father who gave me everything he had, this was the one thing he couldn't give me and he knew I needed a mother to love and care about me.
When I was six I lived with my mom for the first grade. We lived in an apartment and I really hated it in the city. I remember being alone and learning how to cook eggs from watching my dad because I was hungry.
What I also remember about being six is New Year’s Eve 1970. It was when I was left with my mom's boyfriends Steve, a seventeen year old little brother. It was he who molested me for the first time. And it didn't stop with that time. He was my babysitter on many occasions and we always played house and Dr. he called the 'games'.
One thing I came to realize as I got older is, I never felt guilty for what happened because I was the child who was the victim. I know a lot of people who were the victim, but the guilt and the shame they feel lasts a lifetime. It's why child molesters are so hated because they prey on the disadvantaged.
When I was 7 I got to go back with my dad. I lived the life of a princess as my dad spoiled me with a princess bed for my birthday and a fur coat and an 18 carat diamond watch for Christmas. I was loved, adored and inundated with presents.
Kids at school thought I was rich because my daddy was so generous. It was his way to make up for the pain he felt for me I know. Except for a mom, it was a wonderful childhood that's what I remember.
My dad rolled my hair in brown paper bag rollers for school, he cooked for me, he made me warm milk so I could sleep at night, he never left me but took me everywhere with him. I sat on his lap and he always kissed me good night and told me he loved me.
Then my dad had his first official girlfriend. A woman older than he, who was a tall red headed Texan with a strong accent as one would find. I loved her and she loved me.
Then at the end of second grade my dad sent me away for two years to live with my mom. Later I found out he and Amy married but the marriage ended in an annulment when she told him I needed a spanking. My dad wasn't going to hear of that and he ended the relationship.
When I lived with my mom for those two years it was a miserable experience most of the time. I had a very lonely life. I was in the suburbs of D.C. in a house I think of like a hippie commune.
What began as three single women sharing rent originally, by the time I arrived, was the place where three unmarried sexually active couples were getting it on. It was a shock for an eight year old protected child from NE to come to, With my dad he would only peck a lip kiss on his girlfriend in front of me, and now I am living a very different life.
I was given a room by myself and my bed was the box springs. She said, "It will be good for your backache, you need a hard surface." Of course that she and her boyfriend took the mattress to the basement. And no the box springs hurt me and for a year before I chose the floor because it hurt less.
Their place was to me a long ways away in a big house. I went form sleeping with my dad to a room alone upstairs at the end of the hall with strangers.
The basement was the place I wasn't allowed to enter unless I had permission. A lesson learned the hard way when I woke up in a pool of vomit from crying myself to sleep missing my dad. Entering without notice to ask for help, I was yelled at when I surprised my naked mother and her boyfriend and ordered back to bed and to clean it up myself.
It was traumatic for a sensitive child to endure, and it made the homesickness that much worse. Coming out of my room my next door neighbor was a sweet lady named Sue whose hippie boyfriend, always opened the door to a waif of pot smoke and stench.
In the next bedroom was Denise and her boyfriend Kim. Denise made a big impression on me when she went to Hawaii and brought me back a lava statue. While the statute was an ugly tiki, it made me feel special to know she cared about me and made me love Hawaii. That statue fueld a love affair for Hawaii as a special place I wanted to be the rest of my life.
Eventually my mom and her boyfriend found a different house, I'm sure a cheaper house in a lower class neighborhood, as that house had famous people as neighbors.
This next house was just as lonely as the last when it had two men who shared a room with my mom and I having each the other bedrooms. At this house I remember my mom beginning a lifelong career of being a professional student.
It was the summer when I was 9. My mom didn't have a babysitter and she knew I loved history, so she would drop me off everyday by myself at the Smithsonian, on her way to college or work. I remeber the brown paper bag lunch she packed with the disgusting baby food she would put inside. Especially disgusting was the vienna sausage.
I remember a black lady security guard who always spoke to me. I'm sure she was looking out for me. It's a good thing someone was. I loved the Smithsonian but as a kid, I had no idea of how crazy it was to be left alone.
When I became a mom it hit me
I was left alone in a place 5 blocks long and I was to be at the front stpes when she got off work or school. I did that. To be left at the age of 9 all day, everyday, the Smithsonian was my summer babysitter. Never realizing the danger I was put in, yes it was 1972, but still this is Washington D. C.!
Nothing happened other than I was a kid who explored and lived in a fantasy of imagination there. I read about the great Pharoahs, that was my favorite exhibit next to the ocean and the universe exhibits. There was the dinosaurs, the cave men, the ariavator hall, as well as a myriad of plant and animals and the coolest space station. I loved it all and drank it all in.
My mother justified herself by saying it's what made me happy. It did but who was the adult? Wouldn't loosing a baby at 13 months old make a person learn their lesson? Apparently not.
From my time there I gained huge aspirations as a kid. I wanted to grow up to be an astronomer, an anthropoligist, a marine biologist, and an astronaut. The reality is this was easiest for Arlene, my happiness was her justification.
Another huge adjustment was by fourth grade I was now expected to get myself up for school, eat breakfast, pack lunch and get myself on the school bus on time. Then I came home to an empty house or to a strange man named Bill or my mom's boyfriend Don.
In all the hardest adjustment was the disciple I got for wrongdoing. With my dad I was never even spoken to harshly, and with Arlene mistakes were criminal matters.
Once it was for stealing at the age of 6. Yes I stole beautiful sparkly jewelry from a store and hid it under a throw rug. That was my downfall because Arlene said I knew better because I hid it. She was right but to belt whip a child's first offense in anger is not disciple, it's a parent out of control.
Then came the incident, when I got my first 'c' on my report card. I was scared so I forged my mom's signature. I was 10 when it happend and I was headed for a life of crime she was certain.
This time I received a severe belt whipping that began with being publicly humiliated by being drug by ear from my friends house to my own.
Once inside, the belt beating from Arlene's leather souvenier trip to Morrocco was a wide leather belt with large raised brass decorations. This beating included hair pulling, face beating and throwing me against the wall. She beat me everywhere she could connect. It was far beyond discipline, it was a fit of rage and I was the casualty.
In April I was allowed to go with my mom's sister, my other favorite aunt, and family on a trip to El Salvador. It was a great experience in many ways as I got to explore Mexico City, Guatamal City, And San Salvador. I rode on a Pan Am jumo air bus with a spiral staircase and a projection movie. It was amazing.
At my grandfather's house who I was only allowed to call Henry because grandpa made him feel old, is where ai contracted a bad flue it seemed that I eventually recovered from.
When I returnd in April from El Salvador I tried my hardest to get back to my dad's for the summer. No matter how much I asked to go backI was told no I wasn't going back to Nebraska. By June I devised a plan.
I used my grandma, who my mother always loved and still called mom as my reason. Arlene had a soft spot for her ex-mother in law who was always good to her. This time my mom conceeded as I had not seen my grandma, my only living grandma, for two years.
I knew if I could ever got out of Maryland I would never go back. And that's what I did. Once I got back to Nebraska I made excuse after excuse of activities that kept me too busy to return. Then I finally by late August I told her the truth, I don't want to live with you any more. She agreed to let me stay.
Things were different
While I thought things would be the same as when I left at age 8, I was sadly mistaken. By this time my dad, still on the hunt for love and for a mother for me, was living with Edna May.
She was a petite older woman who wore Dolly Parton wigs. With bleached platinum hair she had Cindy Brady pigtails as she proudly wore a huge cascade wig in the middle of as a platinum behive. She was the complete opposite of every woman before her.
When I came to live with my dad who was living part time in her house, it was made clear that my dad and I would be moving to her house in Omaha and my house would be sold. She had a lovely 4 bedroom 3 story home that had been part of a horse farm, but I loved my house more.
At first Edna May seemed to really take to me, and I to her. Five years earlier her ten year old daughter was kicked in the head by a horse and died from the head injury. I was ten years old, so it would seem to be a perfect fit for two people who needed each other.
In this house was the master bedroom, a second bedroom an older daughter lived in, and the daughter who died had bedroom preserved as a shrine in her memory. Downstairs was a spare room I was put in.
All was fine for a few months
Within a few months I got sick and was bleeding out my rectum. I was taken to the hospital and there I was left for days. I went through gruelling tests and I would have tears steaming down my face as the nurses would console me and tell me how brave I was because I wasn't crying and they knew how much pain I was being put through.
I got a small bouquet of flowers in a horse head pot and eventually sent home pumped full of antibiotic and told they couldn't find anything wrong.
What started out fine quickly began to change. It began when colored my hair red. I was given her deceased daughters clothes and expected to vicariously fill her role. Each and every week we went to her grave and elaboratly decorated it like nothing I've ever seen anyone do as part of her ritual grieving.
I agreed to all her ideas for me because all I wanted was love and acceptance, and she wanted a daughter to take away the pain.
While I don't remember what was said in the car coming back from the cemetary, what I remeber was her response. It haunted me in a way I will never forget.
She said, "It's just not right, it's so unfair of God, I was a wonderful mother and my child died, and your mother is a horrible mother and her child lived! What is wrong with God, damm him to hell!
It was at this moment she glared at me as I grabbed the door handle as I first feared death. It was a feeling I never forgot.
By Thankgiving weekend 1973 it was the first anniversary of their living arrangement and I wanted to celebrate by giving them a gift. So I choose to bathe the fat poodle Tootoo. I painted his nails, brused him and put a bow in his hair just like the groomers. Because I couldn't get the crusty food from the bottom of his ears to detangle, I trimmed the hair. That was my crime.
When I presented him with Happy Anniversay and a card I made, Edna May went balistic! "You cut Tootoo's ears" she shreaked. And for this crime I was evicted from the home.
I tried to be happy living in Omaha because I was with my Dad, but what I wanted was to live in my real home in Plattsmouth. Graciously my aunt, who Arlene left me with at the age of two, lived there and she moved me in her house.
There I finished fifth grade. I was happy because I felt love from my aunt.
In April 1974 my dad and Enda May married because Edna May was a changed woman. My dad said she was sorry for getting so upset about that dog and she wanted to make it up to me. She wanted me as the flower girl in the wedding, and she wanted me to have a horse, she wanted me upsatir in the bedroom where I could be with everyone else and she wanted to be a family
I was bribed with the ultimate bribe my dad and Edna May knew my weakness. I was still hestitant to trust her but the deal was made clear, I could only get a horse if I moved to Omaha with them.
Yes it was a horse, the one constant I begged for over many years. It was my weakness along with my dad and having a family, I agreed to move back to my new 'family",
The clues were obvious
The old expression a "leopard doesn't change its spots" is how I best descibe the crazy of this woman. Saccarin sweet to Cruella Devile, that was Edna May.
She was all about the show. We lived in a big home, I had a horse and and my parents drove a late model Cadillacs. They wore diamond rings and my dad went from denim to polyester leisure suits.
I had a new wardrobe of clothes hand made by Edna May, so I could look good with an entire new wardrobe. Life seemed great for a few months. But one thing never changed. Edna May was an alcoholic and a pill popper. She was a former bar owner who had a large decanter jug of barcardi rum. She would refil and drink from it all day long.
Then there was the barbituates that led to the slurred speach, the falling and tripping and the tipsy. As a mentally unstable person the clues continued. It started with she wanted to buy me the horse her daughter was kicked in the head and killed by. To no avail he could not be found. So I was allowed to pick out my own horse who I loved and owned til she died.
I was given Barbies saddle and I was moved to her room.. Yes I was moved into the princess shrine and everything that was hers became mine. It was quite an honor to live up to this feeling.
I'm not for sure what event caused the snap, other than muddy shoes but that was my next crime.
I came home from school in the fall of 1974 with a girlfriend. We were going to riding together. When we got there, taped to the door was a note, "You better take your God dammed shoes off before you enter this house if you want to see live to tomorrow".
I was 11 years old, humiliated and scared. My girlfriend and I got a change of clothes and went to her house. From that time onward I stayed there very little and stayed at my friends houses as often as I could. By this time my dad was there very little as he worked alot and I saw him in passing.
This incident defined her hatred for me that became even more clear the winter of 1974. It was e worst blizzard in Nebraska history. When you say that about Nebraska you are saying something. I got up for school like every other day.
Edna May was in the kitchen and spoke none to me as usual. I think it had been a month or more since she even uttered a word to me. I knew it was a bad snow so I put on my snow suit and boots. And off I went. My walk was about a mile, and this day I noticed how quiet everything was. I thought I was late.
So I took a shortcut through a pasture. That's when I was nearly lost in a snow drift I could hardly get out of. It took me hours to get to school, When I made it, a few teachers were there and couldn't believe my parents let me walk. I was freezing and exhauted. Of course it was announced there was no school and of course Edna May knew. I think she hoped I wouldn't return when she saw me leave. and It nearly happend.
We waiting for the plows to clear the way and i was given a ride home. There I was snowed intro an ice cold house. I remember that Christmas, it was a full of tension as it was all Edna May could do to tolerate my pressence in front of my dad.
Once school started back I don't really remember being there any more as my friends let me stay with them. Then Febuary 14th, 1975 changed my life.
At the end of school that day was my aunt and uncle there to pick me up. I felt safe and loved once again. I was at my aunts 15 miles away for two weeks before my dad came to check on me. No phone call nothing
I was devastated and my aunt knew the stories I told about Edna May were true how living in this house was no home for a 12 year old child.
In May my dad returned to tell me he and Edna may were moving to Texas. he said there was a big job at a powerhouse and he could make a lot of money and get out of debt. He said they were going to work on their marriage and send for me when they got things worked out. He said he would send for me when they did.
While I wanted my dad more than anything, I feared what would come next with Edna May. My aunt and uncle graciously let me live with them and all was good once I got my horse.
My aunt lived in the county and there were lots of animals and chores to do. I loved to help so I volunteered to do all of them. I had horses to take care of and pets to feed. I had the coolest places to ride and explore. I lived like an Indian princess as I rode bareback all day everyday I could.
My aunts house was the hub of all family activity and I loved that. I wasn't lonely and I felt love and had freedom. It was a great life. But as the months rolled into years, it began to take its toll.
In the spring of 1975 I was again hospitalized for rectal bleeding. This time my aunt didn't drop me off like Edna May had. While she didn't do a bedside vigal she was at least attentive. Test after test and no results. When they figured out I had been in Central America two years earlier and had gotten sick it was assumed I had a viral infection that lived in my gut. Pumped with antibiotics I was sent home a week later.
I remeber the pain in my arma, it was like ahot burning flame inside my bones. It had been two years and no word from my dad. I had no idea if he was even alive. I mourned him and aI wept for him. That's when the deep throbbing pain began. taken to the Dr. I was diagnosed with bursitus because of my emotions. Given more antibiotics I was sent home.
Then the winter of 1976 I went to wake up for school and could n't move it was like my back was broke and I was terrified. My aunt came to help me and eventually she got me out of bed. Taking me to the Dr. I was nowdiagnosed with plurisy. Again more antibiotics as I grieved over my father.
By age 14 things at home changed. My aunt had to take a job and she took a second shif as a janitor because she wasn't being sent money by her husband. That meant I was again left alone. Eventually my grandma and my cousin moved in but I felt abandoned by my aunt who I 'm sure was wore out raising an extra kid. Her children were all raised and now she was raising her brothers child who dissapered off the scene. Of course no one sent her monry for my care and so she had a lot on her plate.
When I was 14 I got my first job because I wanted money for school clothes. So I worked at the high school cafeteria. I had no idea that on top od earning money for school clothes I would get flirted with by the boys every day who wanted extra portion s f food.
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10 it was so I could for a new mom. A second attempt
In my parents case
But as a young woman life had improved little. In a first-love relationship, I was a teen mom who married my high school sweetheart, or so I thought.
While we began dating at 15 & 18, I was an inexperienced and abandoned teen looking for love and family.
Dating the most popular guy in school had its initial advantages for sure as he made me feel safe. A vital femal emotion.
With a promise ring and a proposal to marry after I graduated, was abruptly interupted when at 16 and waiting to go on the pill, I found out I was pregnant.
This changed everything
While we were planning our wedding an unplanned pregnancy was not what we were preparing for. While we were sexually active and had been for months, we were both caught off guard.
Being in love and bing an unwed mother in a small town in Nebraska was not what we wanted. So getting married sooner is what we then planned. But everything changed the day I bought my wedding dress.
At 16 I had no car or license, so I was with a cousin shopping for my dress. With a series of events
Changing my diet and nutrition meant preparing all meal and cooking from sctch because sugar, cancer's food of choice, is hidden everywhere.
Next came the overhaul of my kitchen, including learning how to shop differently as I now purchased organic food instead of ready-made junk food.
Discarding Teflon and aluminum cookware and investing in high-quality stainless steel instead was combined with changing our chlorinated swimming pool to a healthier option.
Through my business I was exposed to toxins and that had to be changed.
With months of detoxes, cleanses, and a plethora of supplements including vitamins, enzymes and nutrition, I also had to learn how to deal with family stress.
Then came the next challenge.
Learning how emotional issues weaken organs and set them up for disease was almost beyong my grasp. But in time I came to learn how the brain processes trauma. It stores the devastating emotion, along with the toxic repressed memory into an organ where diseases like cancer, get their start.
Spending thousands and thousands in the months that passes, I continued to be determined to improving my health. Having no proof other than being alive that all the dollars I was spending was an exercise in futility, or an investment in the future, I decided it was time to test Sharon's warning.
That's when I submitted receipts to my then health insurance company. The response in weeks confirmed Sharon's warning. It was the denial letter that called my protocol "unproven and out of coverage" that another epiphany happened.
Suddenly, it was ever so cear just how wrong it is to have health insurance you pay into, turn around and deny your choice in treatment. And it was then that I knew something needed to change, though I didn't know who I would be involved.
Time made clear how change would happen.
You see while I had the disposable income to self-fund, what was clear is that many people don't have my circumstances. What about them? The answer has been made over and over as I've lost loved ones to untimely deaths that came as a blessing the the horrible suffering.
To realize over and over, millions of times again and again, beautiful people whose lives were cut short and their families ripped apart by preventable diseases insurance refuses to provide the treatments that can reverse and cure disease thorugh natural medicine.
Knowing people I love lost their battle simply because they lacked the finances to self-fund, is an abomination. When they trusted the system and paid the price with their life for misplaced trust. It is a travesty of the highest order.
When I was denied reimbursement my instinct was to fight. But my focus was on the fight with cancer, knowing that to appeal an insurance company is simply an exercise in futility.
The realization changed my life.
Funding a cancer protocol for nearly a year, I felt it was time for new lab work. I wanted to know if my investment was that or was I wasting my time and money. Only tests would make the answer clear.
I was at my Dr.'s office when it happened. It was the exam room when my Dr. entered, shocked I was alive was soon matched by my own shock when explaining why, and she refused to listen.
"I don't want to know what you've been doing" followed by, "we’re running new tests, you need to prepare for the worst" as she hurriedly left the exam room.
Days of anguish waiting new test results ended when I was called to meet with the Dr. Entering the exam room, her eyes fixed on my file, we sat in silence. Attempting to break the awkward silence I started to explain the my regime again, and again I was stopped by her clear resistance to listen. “I told you, I don’t want to know'. Continuing to sit in silence the next words changed my life......
"I saw your last test results, and I've been studying the new lab work, like I told you, I don't want to know what you've been doing. But one thing I know for sure, the liver doesn’t do this by itself. Whatever you're doing worked because you’re cancer free, Congratulations.”
At that moment when jubilation is all I should have felt my brain was scrambling to understand all I just heard. Leaving the room I said, "Wait! you're telling me I'm cancer-free and yet you don't want to know what I did. Did I hear you right?" Her response, "That's right, I don't want to know what you've been doing, and yes you are cancer-free, as she hurried out of the exam room.
That was 27 years ago.
Celebrating a second chance was an amazing rush of new appreciation for life. And eventually all I had learned forced me to see the need for new health insurance. Thinking the answer was just that simple, I had no idea of how complicated that simple answer proved to be.
You see while I had a new committment to cherish life and not abuse or neglect my health any longer, the financial plan of my new awareness was to find health insurance for alternative treatments. Little did I know the life change I was in for.
And that's where my life story took a new turn.
With decades of relentless searching for a company who had this kind of policy ended in a twenty year search in futility. No matter the agent, no matter the company, the end result was always the same. "No we don't have a policy like that, but it's a great idea. If you ever find it, let me know cause I would like to have that for myself."
So now the question, just how did cancer save my life? In many ways actually let me explain.
1. Cancer saved my life because cancer was my wake up call. I took my health and life for granted the way most young people do. Cancer changed that and for that I am grateful.
2. Cancer saved my life because I was terminal and past chemo and radiation. That saved me for sure because statistics don't lie, Liver cancer survival early-detection is 17%. Late stage, liver cancer is a medical death sentence.
And according to the CDC (Center for Disease Control) those who use chemo and radiation, their long-term survival over five years is only 1 in 3! That means people die from the treatment in addition to the disease.
3. Cancer saved my life because it opened my eyes to the profit-at-all-cost cancer industry. As an industry earning trillions, is the result of decades of suffering people, whose untimely deaths are the result of toxic treatments.
As profits continue to roll in, cancer occurrence continues to climb as the pockets of 'Big Pharma" are full as people die needlessly.
4. Cancer saved my life because it helped me understand. Progressively to see the insanity of poisoning the body as a medical treatment is shocking to realize that mustard gas used to kill people, given a new name, is now a cancer treatments called chemo.
It's a miracle of the human body survives at all. One day we will look back on this bio-hazard and ask. 'why did anyone think it could heal a person in an immune crisis?'
Toxic treatments compromise an immune system already compromised. Now the body must heal once from the disease, and once from the treatment. Sadly, because people are denied a health plan for health, they are financialy forced into toxic treatments. For others its the intimidation of experts and an industry who reaps the financial benefits of people who feel powerless when they are most vulnerable.
5. Cancer saved my life because it taught me the cure for cancer isn't in a laboratory. The cure to cancer isn't in a discovery, it's inside each of us. It's the miracle called our immune system and it's the 'secret' to all disease. And it's the secret the system doesn't want you to know. Why? Because if you did, you would stop surrendering to them.
Instead of ending diseases life cancer, a 'war' as declared by President Nixon in the 70's has resulted in 40-year battle where trillions have been speant and billions have been earned on a system that is no closer in realtity because it doesn't work.
When seeing the real agenda of the 'reasearch and the treatment' as being about the profitability, just follow the money and there you'll find the truth.
6. Cancer saved my life by helping me understand 'pink washing'. It's called the 'run for the cure' you know the fundraisers that make big promises and build hope on sympathy. Sadly the reality is, such organizations have a vested interest also in not promoting a cure.
Look at what they loose; cure means lost jobs, lost lifestyles. So the panacea continues as everyone nievely continues to hope and beleive what actually is a lie.
When a person or organization is a vested interest in the system as is, nothing will ever change, That's the reality. But that's not a popular reality so instead people are offered false promises as they year after year, wait. It's a system where there are no real winners, but fear of change keeps the unsuspecting public manipulated. When an industry profits from misplaced public trust, decades of broken promises make clear the motive as do the facts.
7. Cancer saved my life by waking me up to the truth. When once you know this truth and the facts that for decades, the finest of minds in medicine and science documented natural treatments that save lives from natural methods were proven and documented, was there a ticker-tape celebration?
No. Instead those who challenged the system had careers destroyed when unpatented and unprofitable solutions in the natural world, were hidden for decades. Suppressed by the worlds elite who through big pharma, continued to rake in the wealth created by the wealthcare system, people became just another natural resource to be exploited.
Make no mistake about it, this is not a coincidence. Is it a conspiracy or paranoa as some say? That is the debate. Instead of debate look at the facts as over and over the same scenario plays out in other industries like energy. Once you come to understand the same mega-wealthy who control big pharma also control energy and national economy, who can challenge the system?
Those who have tried the likes of Dr. Gerson, Nurse Caisse, Howard Hoxie, Nicolas Tesla, and many more, does the evidence become clear as to the clear intent to supress and manipulate people for wealth beyond measure as lives lost are a means of population reduction.
8. Cancer saved my life by taking me through its darkness. Facing the fear of terminal illness helped me to now be able to help to help others by being the voice of hope. By seeing the success of a person who is a survivor and to help people know how to navigate cancer without chemo and radiation, is a gift of life and that of the highest calling.
9. Cancer saved my life because it taught me to be educated. Realizing just how complex and yet simple the body is, and how when we feed and nourish it, the body has an amazing rejenerative power, made me determined ot be health educated. In order to protect my health and not surrender to those who profit from illness, it was time I learned the value of prevention instead of treatment.
Coming to realize the body send signals long before disaster strikes is the warning to adjust. Instead of reading the signals like a traffic light, modern medicine's big pharma approach is cover it over or cut it out. And that only leads to more problems.
Which is easier; change the oil or replace the engine? That's why and how natural treatments save lives because when we learn how to be as preventaitive with our health as we are our vehicle, we avert crisis before they strike.
10. Cancer saved my life because I would have never known the truth the health insurance industry. Coming to understand how insurance abandons people who choose natural medicine, and how without cancer I would have never known the truth. How for decades the insurance industry has ignored pleas for coverage, and is the reason people die needlessly.
With a better health plan that offered options, millions of untimely deaths could be prevented. People we all have loved and lost. To know this truth is to know the shame of how humans can willfully for profit, so the unconscionable to a fellow human .
This is how cancer saved my life.
In time I became an avid researcher, my thirst for truth continued as I piece by piece assembled the peices of a very dark picture. With the historical research of people like G. Edward Griffins, whose revealing expose' identifies the secret agenda of the world's powerful; people are another natural resource to exploit and be enriched by,
That agenda is made clear when looking at the dark past of modern medicine's tainted history. While it's a story most know nothing about, the facts are it was founded on the fortunes of J.D. Rockefeller, J.P. Morgan, and A. Carnegie.
It was these and other billionaires of the past century, whose wealth provided them the means, and the lust for more that began a scheme to covertly use philanthropist donations, to systematically take over medical institutions.
Slowly and methodically gaining control ofprestigious institutions by putting their men on the boards of directors, set the stage to take over the education in order to end natural medicine and ingrain in the thinking of the masses, belief in allopathic treatments.
Why? It's simple; patent protection. Backing allopathy meant backing patent protection and that meant market control in order to achieve profitability of a new kind, through the human need for health. It was allopathy who became the means by which their next industry was created, what today we call 'Big Pharma".
With the calculated take over of the medical system was followed by a systematic takeover of then media; newspapers. Once public content was controlled, propaganda molded generation of people into conformity.
Through deliberate misinformation, the public was barraged with propaganda as the media slandered naturopaths. Compounding fear through ignorance, tnatural medicine went from highly trusted to a witchcraft like pall over natural treatments and the practitioners who provided them.
The motive was clear;
complete control = complete profit
With relentless media propaganda, natural practitioners became synonymous with quackery. But only when one takes a good look at the biggest industries in existence today, banking, energy, pharmaceutical, healthcare, can one see a common thread; as all are owned by the same families who control entire economies of nations.
Added to my research came six years spent as a financial consultant in a specialty field called litigation funding. Working with class action lawsuits, pharmaceutical litigation was a specialty.
It was then when I became involved in such, that the motives become transparent. Accessing confidential court documents cemented "Big Pharma's' paper trail who told the story.
Patent law is how market monopoly for 20 years is achieved, and the agenda people know little of. It is big pharma who pays for the case studies that buys the results, and it is big pharma who submitted their evidence to have FDA approval.
Once a pharmaceutical company has FDA approval on a patent drug, the real agenda becomes clearer as big pharma executives begin the manipulation of the medical community. Needing the Dr.'s to prescribe their drugs; Dr.'s are 'wined and dined' at the finest of resorts.
As an 'educational seminar' it's really no more than a propaganda event where Dr.'s are influenced to prescribe the latest drugs, because that's where the money is. With patent protection big pharma has complete market control of the market they own.
In addition, Dr.'s are offered a chance to receive kickbacks from sales, or earnings as a stockholder. But Big Pharma wants more. That's when I learned about what they call 'off-brand use'. That's where the real profits are as off-brand use is where 'maximum market penetration' starts.
What's in it for Big Pharma?
Prescribing drugs for non-approved FDA use is great for business because it creates exponential profits. An industry standard used to achieve 'maximum market penetration', the price is paid in health ruined and lives lost of people who know no better.
And the consequence to the pharmaceutical company? Settlements for pennies on the dollar compared to the earnings. Yes this is how multi-million dollar settlements are the small price paid in 'the cost of doing business' as earnings are in the billions. What's equivalent to advertising budgets, settlements is nothing in the business of healthcare as at any time, product liability cases are ever increasing.
In a numbers game it makes sense, but these are the lives of people whose lives are shattered by more greed. And as innocent, unsuspecting people continue to be duped by slick ad campaigns for one small pharmaceutical fix with a far longer list of risks and side-effects, it is the rsk people take every day that an adverse reaction will happen to someone else,
Make no mistake the agenda is clear; profit from the treatment of disease, and not from its cure. And to the fool who challenges the status quo and promotes a low-cost natural medicine option , is to become the next target of what is likened to a medical cartel.
While some become uncomfortable and reel at the idea of a conspiracy, collusion at least can be the only answer. Because bottom line; one thing is certain, this is not a coincidence. And what is not recognized by western medicine is not covered by health insurance.
Thus, the cycle of needless suffering continues, endlessly.
Modern Trauma Medicine Saves Lives
With sweeping advances in trauma and surgical procedures, that today do what were only dreamed possible decades ago, it seems that what is saved by one side of medicine is lost to the other. In what way? Because statistics reveal as 7 out of 10 deaths, according to the CDC are caused by preventable disease. 1 out of 10!
Today a massive shift in the medical community is taking place. It's happening because caring providers seek to ensure optimum patient care. We celebrate the fresh approach functional, integrative and complementary medicine practitioners bring to the medical community.
Despite thousands of caring professionals making change happen, there remains is no health insurance for natural treatments.
It is as Albert Einstein described;
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results”.
And that insanity is defined today in many ways. When it comes to the topic of healthcare, especially cancer, the system is not working for people. In fact the reality is, trusting, uniformed and emasculated people are its prey. And this reality came ever more clear in 2013.
It happened when I was offered a career change to insurance.
You see while I like many had been a consumer of insurance, it wasn't until I learned the mechanics of how insurance works, and that another group of epiphanies happened that again answered my prayers.
The first was the day when doing research, that I realized why my health insurance denied me years earlier. For a reasoning person it made no sense; why would you not want to help keep your policy holder alive? If they have no medical options, why deny them the alternative? What corpse pays premiums? This is why people get frustrated with insurance because they think on a rational level. But insurance doesn't work that way.
The answer was clear and for the sake of brevity I'll make it a simple answer. Insurance is not a person; it is an abstract written document that all the people acquiesce to. You see when a policy is written it becomes the law.
Then it's up to the adjusters to enforce the law. Much in the same way a judge doesn't write the law the law makers do, who is then bound by the law, insurance is similar.
What is written in the policy is the policy and that's what the policy covers and nothing more.
So while people can think and reason, an abstract document cannot, thus people find an exercise in futility when they try to reason on a matter that doesn't work or was built on reason.
Continued research led me to the next discovery;
It was an amazing day when it happened. It was one of those moments when it was like heaven parted and I saw everything clearly. While I've had many a good idea in my life, it is these moments of absolute clarity that are a stand out in my life. And this was one of those moments.
It happened when doing research. There in front of me was the answer; it was the very thing I spent over 20 years of my life searching for. How to write the policy for holistic health insurance and knowing the amazing good such a policy could have on people's lives, I set out to search the industry, the patent and trademark registry and realized it had never been done.
So after months of research I wrote a patent for GreenSurance, holistic health insurance in July 2013.
Then came the next challenge that of field testing my theory. You see what I came to realize in the twenty plus years since remission is who much people had changed. How much being 'green' had become more mainstream. And that's why I felt like the people were ready for the message but instinct wouldn't be enough for and insurance company.
As a 'needs based industry' this is how new insurance products are developed and released. Once an unmet need is identified then is a product developed to meet that need.
So while I was still thinking like an insurance person I set out to prove the people were ready for GreenSurance as a stand-alone health policy for natural medicine in a life crisis.
The way the policy worked is if you were diagnosed with a terminal illness and had 24 or less months to live, the policy would go into effect and you could then use any treatment anywhere to reverse the disease.
And that's what in July 2013, the GreenSurance message came saying. Set to test public response, GreenSurance would prove the public unmet need for coverage. The response was amazing and made clear, people are ready for change.
Then when October that year came and the federal government shutdown over Obamacare. And now it seemed the issue of health insurance not only as millions were left confused, frustrated and outraged. But the federal gridlock over healthcare was top of list for everyone.
The result ended up with increased premiums, higher deductibles, and of course a penalty for noncompliance as people were left holding the bag to new insurance profits.
One thing became clear; people were frustrated and very vocal about that frustration.
And that frustration led to people expressing to me a personal disdain for insurance because of it. realization led me to research the Obamacare legislation. There inside I found the answer. It is written in the code that select organizations would be exempt from penalty and compliance.
As special interest groups sought a monopoly, the gridlock was to determine how to get people to accept what was thrust upon them.
This same year that like a light from heaven, my eyes opened wide when I discovered why shutdown behind closed doors was discussed. Illegal to enforce, the law allow exemptions to pass and once such exemption was through cost sharing.
More research revealed only a small group of organizations qualified for the exemption status and most could not pass the pre-1999 time-frame for existence among other issues as outlined by the law.
As an industry, cost sharing is over 30 years old and been used by some 500,000 people and paid out $1.3 billion in conventional health care costs.
Forming GreenSurance as a nonprofit and then approaching a cost sharing organization with the idea of a fusion health plan, resulted in a coalition of nonprofits who together, create the GreenSurance Natural Medicine Healthcare Co-op.
A health plan that includes all treatments conventional and natural, GreenSurance is the fresh, organic, distilled down and removed of health insurance profits, health care plan. Providing far more for far less, GreenSurance is the 'win-win-win' health plan I am proud to be part of.
Today our mission is to take "It's not covered by my health insurance" out of the healthcare conversations of millions of people. Through cost-sharing, we can ensure on one is left to go it alone financially when choosing natural medicine.
A health plan that supports choice because "Choice is Powerful Medicine”, is how my having terminal cancer and launching this health plan solution is how my having cancer may save your life too.
